


It's Quiet Uptown

by whatismyname_idk



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Book 7: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Canon Compliant, Gen, Hamilton Lyrics, I think?, Present Tense, Song Lyrics, Song Parody, Song: It's Quiet Uptown, i did angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:08:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26336950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatismyname_idk/pseuds/whatismyname_idk
Summary: Hamilton's "It's Quiet Uptown," Harry Potter-style. Takes place during Deathly Hallows, focusing on Severus Snape's time as Headmaster.
Relationships: Albus Dumbledore & Severus Snape, Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall & Severus Snape
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	It's Quiet Uptown

**Author's Note:**

> All words written in italics are modified lyrics from "It's Quiet Uptown."
> 
> I recommend you listen to the song before or as you read, but it's not necessary.
> 
> * * *

_There are moments that the words don’t reach.  
There is suffering too terrible to name.  
You hold your shields as tight as you can.  
And push away the unimaginable.  
The moments when you’re in so deep  
It feels easier to just swim down._

Severus Snape, Potions Master, Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Death Eater, and spy for the Order of the Phoenix, spits the forbidden words. He watches his mentor, his general, his jailer, his redeemer, the great Albus Dumbledore, fall limp from the highest tower.

He falls with him. Not to the ground, but he falls just the same. Severus Snape falls deep into his mind, retreating behind smooth shields and strong walls.

The plan is all that matters. Help Potter, preserve Hogwarts, kill the Dark Lord.

_[3RD PERSON POV]  
The Headmaster moves right in.  
And learns to live with the unimaginable._

_[SEVERUS SNAPE]  
I spend hours brewing potions.  
I walk alone through the halls.  
And it’s quiet throughout.  
I always liked the quiet before.  
I see his red eyes every meeting.  
The sign of the snake at the door.  
And I pray.  
That never used the happen before._

He's not sure who, or what, he prays to. He's only barely aware he's praying at all. Perhaps to Merlin, or the Peverell brothers, perhaps to Dumbledore himself.

Nevertheless, he finds his dry lips shaping the words, "Hide them. Protect them. Keep him - them - safe. Please." He shudders, remembering near-identical words once uttered upon a windy hill, but cannot help but repeat them.

"Please."

_[3RD PERSON POV]  
If you see him in the hall, walking by himself, talking to himself, have pity._

_[SEVERUS SNAPE]  
Lily, you would hate it right now  
It’s quiet right now._

_[PAINTING OF DUMBLEDORE]  
He is working through the unimaginable._

_[3RD PERSON POV]  
His eyes have more weight. He passes every day.  
They say he walks the length of the school._

_[SEVERUS SNAPE]  
He strikes me down, I fall apart._

_[3RD PERSON POV]  
Can you imagine?_

_[SEVERUS SNAPE]  
Look at where we are.  
Look at where we started.  
I know I don’t deserve it, Minerva.  
But look at me. That would be enough._

Merlin, he wants it so fucking badly. Needs it, as he never has before. Needs someone to look at _him_. Not Severus, the favoured Death Eater, Dumbledore's killer; not Snape, the despicable Death Eater Headmaster; not even Severus, the Light's spy (how Dumbledore - or at least, his portrait - had taken to gazing at him).

He wants someone to see him: Severus Snape, bastard potioneer, Dark Arts enthusiast, skulking bat of the dungeons. After all their years, Minerva would be the one to see him, and for all that he doesn't allow her to, he wishes for it more every day.

_If I could spare his life.  
If I could trade his life for mine.  
He’d be standing here right now.  
And they would smile, and that would be enough._

_I don’t pretend to know.  
The challenges they’re facing.  
I know there’s no replacing what they’ve lost._

Images, too many to count, of students. Bleeding, twitching, struggling to move. Letters, heavily screened, containing news of their siblings, their parents. Tears. So many tears. Where only a few years ago it would have been annoying, it now serves as a grim reminder of the cruelty these children know so well. Those few who dare look at him with a mixture of horror and fear that Severus knows all too well.

_And they need help_

More than the Room of Requirement, more than Aberforth can provide. More than the few potions he manages to brew in his free time, more than all of Madam Pomfrey's spells and salves.

They need help, but Merlin damn it all, he _can't_. He can't duel the Carrows, he can't offer his potions and medical know-how to the tortured students, can't even give Potter his fucking sword unless Phineas hears their location.

Stuck at the top of a tower, and despite his position, his status, his knowledge - absolutely powerless.

_And I'm so afraid.  
But I know what I'm doing.  
Just let me fight here on this side.  
That would be enough._

He is. So afraid. Not of death, which remains his only true partner through life. But of failure. Another thing he is intimately familiar with, but something that remains frightening. He is scared of failing the students - it doesn't feel right to call them "his" - scared of failing Dumbledore, failing Potter… failing Lily. Again.

But what can he do? Only continue on this path, follow the plan, pray to anyone listening that something works. Fight the good fight, even if he has to do it from the shadows. It would be enough. It had to be.

_[3RD PERSON POV]  
If you see him in the hall, walking by her side, talking by her side, have pity._

_[SEVERUS SNAPE]  
Minerva, why must you fight it right now? Can't you hide it right now?_

That damn Gryffindor stupidity. The same fire that had her facing Umbridge now has her straightening, glaring at him as he says again that there is nothing he is inclined to do about the Carrows' detentions. With the Carrows present, that kind of disrespect cannot go unpunished, and he nearly collapses as he instructs Minerva to remain behind, "for a lengthy discussion on proper respect for your headmaster."

The disgust that wells in her eyes is, unbeknownst to her, mirrored in Severus' before he masks it once more.

_[3RD PERSON POV]  
He is trying to do the unimaginable.  
See him walking in the halls, long after dark.  
Returning from the mighty adversary._

The Dark Lord is getting angrier. Scared. Even Severus' favoured position doesn't spare him from the minutes of the Cruciatus curse that leave him weak and trembling.

Although the pain and damage are getting worse every meeting, Severus is grimly thankful, for he can only assume this means that the Dark Lord's horcruxes are being destroyed.

The end is getting closer, he can feel it.

_[SEVERUS SNAPE]  
Potter look at me, look at me, now take them._

_[HARRY POTTER]  
He really did the unimaginable._

_[3RD PERSON POV]  
There are moments that the words don’t reach.  
There is a grace too powerful to name.  
He embraces what few understand.  
He steps in to the unimaginable.  
They are standing in their park.  
Severus by Lily’s side.  
She takes his hand._

_[SEVERUS SNAPE]  
It’s quiet right now._

_[3RD PERSON POV]  
Forgiveness. Can you imagine?  
Forgiveness. Can you imagine?  
If you see him in the street, walking by her side, talking by her side, don't pity.  
They have gone through the unimaginable._


End file.
